long day.

tut. stupid paul. as in twohill
firstly, he was like “i brought vitagen!”
then later i asked if i could take one
“huh… i give to others already”

i didn’t even see him give it! i bet he drank it. tut.

was so tired i slept a lil durin writ comm.
lunch was alright, i guess. (=

happy birthday grace i love you loads i hope you liked it.

slept a lil durind speech comm, i think. WHOOPS.
after class, bought beef.
ate it on the way home.
slept for a while.
then i left the house.
((=
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was supposed to meet for dinner. it was around 6.45.
but we sat at some playground.
and ate dinner at 9+.
swings are fun
the rocking thing also. teheheh.
i didn’t really like my food. but yeh. next time i shall ask for mutton. ((=
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.
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then met bro n friend. went to DNA for CS.
i sucked la.
nevermind.
i admit.
worst thing is
i never move, kena killed.
chicken backside..
sucks la lol.
.
.
and now, im gonna do my work. slacked for FOUR days.
OH MY GOD.
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.
.
boy i got my eyes on you.
omg i love that song so much!!!
“tell me”
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.
.
okay. work )=

confusion

even bealson know’s what’s going on
even he understands.
)=
do you?
i hope so.
maybe so, but understandding is totally different from doing.
right?
.
.
sigh
if only..

konayuki.

for the first time, im in love
.
.
.
.
.
with a jap song.
shut up la.
lol
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.
粉雪舞う季節はいつもすれ違い
人混みに紛れても同じ空見てるのに
風に吹かれて似たように凍えるのに

僕は君の全てなど知ってはいないだろう
それでも一億人から君を見つけたよ
根拠はないけど本気で思ってるんだ

些細な言い合いもなくて
同じ時間を生きてなどいけない
素直になれないなら
喜びも悲しみも虚しいだけ

粉雪ねえ心まで白く染められたなら
二人の孤独を分け合う事ができたのかい

僕は君の心に耳を押し当てて
その声のする方へすっと深くまで
下りてゆきたいそこでもう一度会おう

分かり合いたいなんて
上辺を撫でていたのは僕の方
君のかじかんだ手も握りしめる
ことだけで繋がってたのに

粉雪ねえ永遠を前にあまりに脆く
ざらつくアスファルトの上シミになってゆくよ

粉雪ねえ時に頼りなく心は揺れる
それでも僕は君のこと守り続けたい

粉雪ねえ心まで白く染められたなら
二人の孤独を包んで空にかえすから
.
.
.
.
as much as its a guy’s song.
you know i love it.

sigh

why has so much happened within 2 days.
.
.
.
sometimes, i wonder why guys are so useless.
doesn’t “action speaks louder than words” mean anything to them?
its cliche for a reason.
i wonder why they attack the girls.
i really do wonder.
how they kill the girls/piss them off by saying such silly things
eg; ‘i can do, but its futile’
are you on the receiving end?
no right?
so how would you know?
you wont know till you’ve tried.

.
.
.
*shakes head*
im really disappointed.
or maybe cos its ME that’s why the guys don’t bother.
well every girl likes being surprised.
every girl likes attention, no matter how shy they are.

to put it simply,
when it comes to work,studies, guys might be clever.
but love/friendship/kinship, guys are just pure dumb.
grow a bain leh,
for my sake.
.
.
.
.
im really kinda disappointed.
dont know how to appease..
you’re patronising is not really working.

i think

i think im being too nice.
truthfully, as hurtng as it is,
i dont think you deserve any of this kindness, you know?
sorry.

oh.

gonna do radio. sigh.
should not have gone out.
im just waiting for it to be shown and announced to everyone.
will it ever happen?

tenderness of your hips; lips.

i wanna matter to you as much as you to me.
im afraid.
im scared.
can words really make me secure?
as nice as honey, it doesnt last.
we’ll see how long it’ll last.

.
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im piecing it back together. slowly. the hurt is still there. i want to trust you.
oh well.
stingray was so-so only.
not that crisp, not that sour.
sadly.
company was even worse.
ahaha kidding.
saw imran and kaini (=
.
went to my crib, just to chill for awhile.
headed to ZOOM to play CS.
yay (=
the mouse wasn’t that good. so yeh.
left and went to eat..
chicken mutabak.
i was thinking that it was good cos the meat was white.
then i saw FATS.
they put the whole piece of chicken bryanni into it.
nevermind. cannot finish. i dapao.
sat at the carpark to talk.
chicken backside.
those ants come and attack.
then i let them eat lor.. )=
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i really cannot stand people taking my food.
lololol.
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i hope things are fine with Mr Lim. haha.
SHIT I NEED TO DO RADIO FUCKKKK!!!
nevermind.
tue is a holi.
(=
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.
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i really wonder how things will turn out.
how will friends look at me?
how will my parents feel?
i dont wanna feel withdrawn, ever again.
i went through it once, it was hell.
im afraid it will once again appear.
dont let it, would you?
.
.
.
.
a plea.
a cry.
i want to work it out.
i want to matter to you.
where do i stand in your heart?
.
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.
.
.

i want to fall deeply in love with you

out.

on fri night, i returned at 2.30am.
okay maybe that’s sat morn.

on sat night, 4am.
(sun morn)

shall be home early today.
after stingray i think i wanna play cs.
keep things not so awkward

cake it,

sherwin just left my crib.
gonna shower, head out for stingray which was supposed to be supper. tut
stingray, you can never run away from my oh-so-sexy mouth. hahaha.
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call it insecurities. call it ANYTHING you want.
i just feel that i dont matter.
really.
.
.
.
woke up in a dream today,
with the cold floor static.
put my feet on the floor.
.
.
.
karma.

what makes you think…

what makes you think that we can brave it.
what makes you think i’ll accept.
what makes you think i wont push away
what?

you pushed me away
yet now, you’re cming back for more.
is it fair for me?
what’s that supposed to mean?
what am i supposed to do?
what do you want me to do…
insecurities.
tell me.
prove it.