copyright.

on a random site, i found this. blog surfing. thanks to a random.

Who did you last go out with?
mum and sis, japan.

What do you want to receive on your
birthday?
a tight hug and a never ending passionate kiss. hha!! just so you know, i’ve yet to get it.

What time did u sleep last night?
1+ am, i reckon.

What’s the wallpaper on your computer?
its not my com. fuckin apple cant work

What can you hear besides the computer?
tv. stupid.

Do you agree to the saying “to forgive is to forget”?
no. you can always forgive, cos time heals it. but time doesn’t erase your memory.

When, where was the last time you cried?
last night, at camp.

What/who makes you happy?
you-know-who, sad also at times. love makes me happy

What makes you sad?
love. how ironic.

What are your favorite books?
romance. with those nitty gritty details about making out. haha!

What would you like to have at this moment which seems totally impossible?
like, DUH. damn obvious.

Who will you turn to if you have a huge problem that not all your friends know about? 
dont know.

What’s your favorite song at the moment?
clay aiken songs runnin thru my mind.

What was the last song that kept ringing on your mind last night before you sleep?
the way you look tonight.

What was the best event that happened last year?
cant remember. its like, so last year.

Where did you go today?
ngee ann, for camp. doctors, for eye check.

Last ride? What kind?
family car. picnic, toyota

Who were you with? Were they cool?
parents. uh…

Have you gone to the beach just w/ your buddies?
yeh, sounds patetic if i said no, aye?

Do you love sunsets?
yea, its damn romantic, wth the righguy of course.

When is your b-day?
9th november

What are your wishes for your birthday?
fora boyfriend. haha! its 8mths to my birthday, imagine me being single till then. haha.

Who do you wanna 2 be wif on the day of your birthday?
like, DUH. him.

Have you ever felt that you’ve been taken for granted?
yea, sadly.

Things you regret?
haps and truckloads of ‘em.

Is there anything else you want to do besides answering this survey? what?
yeh, being embraced. aha. feels damn good.

What’s the most important word that lingers in your mind right now?
him.him.him. rejection. love. eh a lot of words luh

cookies n’ cream or double dutch?
i rather have fish meat beehoon. (=

Chocolate cake or brazo de mercedez?
er.. lexus, bmw.

Do you know how to drive?
yeh, i drive people (and myself) crazy.

Do you like spongebob?
hell yeh. i love square bodies. hha.

Do you know how to play the guitar?
a little.

Is there someone you’re missing right now?
gong gong, him.

Do you love someone right now?
well like, duh?!

done?
with?

001. real name : Tai Si Min Charmaine.

002. nickname: char.
003. single or taken : Single.
004. zodiac sign : Scorpio.
005. male or female : Female.
006. elementary : pasir panjang hill, chapel kindergarten
007. high : tanglin sec.
008. college : skipped it.
009. eye color : Brown.
010. hair color : black?
011. long or short hair : Long.
012. shoe size : uh, 5. 

013. asthma? : Nah.
014. are you health freak : more like freak. i do dab the oil away.
015. height : 1.57.
016. do you have a crush on someone: yeh.
017. do you like yourself: not really, sometimes i do, othertimes no..
018. piercings : SEVEN!.
019. tattoos : none )=
020. righty or lefty: Lefty.

FIRSTS:

022. first surgery : i await the day.
023. first piercing : primary 2.
024. first best friend : all for show.
025. first movie : mighty morphan power rangers..
026. First sport you joined : track and field counted? netball.
027. first pet : terapins.
028. first vacation : canada, i think.
029. first concert : enegy. i think
030. first crush : jerry yan. haha. he’s so frickin hot. although mike’s hot too.

CURRENTLY :

049. eating :no appitite.
050. drinking : no.
052. i am :undergoing depression.
053. listening to : the goggle box.
055. waiting for : youyouyou.
057. wearing : ear rings, nipple ring (im kiddin), underwear, asics shorts, doraemon shirt.

YOUR FUTURE :

058. want kids? : i hope not. so far i hate kids. imagine having sex and your kids rush in. maybe that’s why locks were invented
059. want to get married? : duhhh! sex haha!!! hugs, embrces. woooeee!
060. careers in mind? : model.

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX? :

068. lips or eyes?: both, big eyes( frickin sexy), lovely kissable lips.no beestung one’s.
069. hugs or kisses : Both.
070. shorter or taller : Taller.
072. romantic or spontaneous : Spontaneous. cos when you’re spontaneous, you’re being romntic too haha!
073. stomach or arms : both. stomach sould be toned, at least flat. arms should have muscles. no scrawny people please!
074. sensitive or loud: both, definately. loud with the mates, sensitve with me. vice versa.
075. hook-up or relationship: Relationship.

HAVE YOU EVER :
078. kissed a stranger : Nope.
080. lost glasses/contacts: contacts. but i have conjunctivites, so its glasses now.
081. ran away from home : No.
082. broken any bones : awaiting the day. you guys cansign my cast heehee.
084. broken someone’s heart : maybe? i wont know. but mine’s broken now, what.
085. been arrested : no, but i think its damn col.
086. turned someone down : yea, sorry, luh.
087. cried when someone died : well yea. even if the person gets super injured i also cry. wth.
088. liked a friend : yes..

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
089. yourself: uh…
090. miracles : praying for it, crrently.
091. love at first sight : yea. tehee.
092. heaven : Yeh.
093. santa claus : NO.
094. fairies : no. but drag queens make good ones.
095. kissing on the first date: is he hot?
096. angels : yea..

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY :

097. Is there one or more people you want to be with right now?
one. yes.

098. Is Superman really better than Batman?
yeh, like I WEAR MY UNDERWEAR OUTSIDE and batman is dumb.

099. Have you had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at the same time?
wait la, i get one boyfriend then say. but no. that’s dumb

okay. im still not eating. im still emo. urg.

orientation camp.

planning was alright i guess. its just me. i actually cried at the frickin night walk. chicken backside… worse was that i cried at the first station. and hj was there. like oh my frickin goodnes. not like he hasn’t seen me cry before but this is a different stuation. he probably thinks like i haven’t grown up, or worse, i love crying, especially during night walks. oh well.

mates were kinda cool i guess. wish they would like be more cool. this guy, marvin, from another group, is so frickin cute. on the day he wore this green shirt that said, ‘i can be your private dancer’ and ME being an ass i told him, ’sure thing.’

loads of girls dressed to impress. oh well… i didn eat like, anything during the 3d2n camp. i was hungry of course, but when i smelt the food i felt so nauseous, i kept wanting to puke every single time. going to the doc to see what’s wrong. not like the doc would know, but i’ve swollen eyes. goodness knows why.

second night was kinda fun. performance night. raven and falcon pulled it together last min. really cool. i got embarrassed man. nathan i was asked to shake my ass in front of everyone. i DO know how to do that, fyi, but i just screwed it.

then hj got drunk. he was like, puking then he started smilig and talking. i saw from afar of course. i felt like crap, naturally. not that it was my fault. like a lot of leaders were around him, and i didn’t go up to sit there,to ask what’s wrong. it seemed so natural that i watched from afar. and i was thinking, if it was any other friend who got drunk, i definately would have ran towards them, being by their side. i felt super uselss cos i didn’t do anything as a friend. not like he cared i guess, but its just how i feel, la. worse, i cried. like it’s so whatever. as said, i felt super guilty.

the party thing was damn shit cos i nearly asked for a cigg to try. this guy, jarrel, kinda cute. with his earring hahaha.  ok i bet everyone thinks im an emo freak. just cos i got really depressed and i would stare at everyone who walked past, not blinking. but its really not my fault if i dont blink all the time. i cant control, can i?

would i have gone to the camp, given the choice, now i’ve seen it? i dont know. i stayed cos he was there. even though i was feeling damn sick. people do go through problems, alright. fuck. im just taking a longer time.

i should really move on. thanks monkey, for talking to me, listening to me. (=

i’ve decided. if things don’t improve on my side, i’ll seek help.

i really feel like shit.

im there, but you dont care.

everyone’s probably calling me a freak. i cant control it that well i know. but seein you there, laughing, smiling, more than you ever did when you were with me, it made me feel so useless. i can only irritate you, they made you smile. it was nice seeing you so happy, yet it wasn’t cos i wasn’t part of it. i could only stand aside, to see you smile and laugh. nothing i do would matter to you because when you don’t like a person, you simply do not bother about their existence, much less how they feel. it sucks, really. you don’t know what im going through, what im facing.

freak man. super emo. nathan.