emo lil me. (=

just had a long talk with giraffe on the phone.
like woah.
cos i don’t talk on the phone and stuff..

but yea.
happy mothers day everyone(=

zip.

my sister whipped up a meal -ofsorts.
she asked if i wanted any.
i just shook my head.

i’m not exactly the best person in the family.
my voice is feeling funny.
quivering.

today’s mothers’ day..
i didn’t get my mum anything.
actually i did.
last week, i ordered a tulip from church,
hoping they’d give it to my mum today,
but they didn’t.

i’m feeling so lousy today.
and i guess everything is taking a toll on me.

i don’t respond well to my family.
i don’t know why, i’m so detached.

i’m sorry.

i don’t know why, but its falling..
i’ve to go up now.
bye.

unstable.

much has been happening lately,
i don’t know if its for the better,
but i do hope that i come out as a stronger person.

i went for ER after radio,
met giraffe. (=
handsome boy..

then after ER, i left immediately,
and razi picked me up from vivo.
the car ride was not so -enjoyable,
probably due to the heavy heart.

yes, jokes were made, but it felt all so different..
reached the chalet at 7+ and we ate, and laughed,
at how it felt like an old-folks-home.
curtains and stuff..

then went into one of the empty rooms to slack for a bit,
and then there was the cake.
it was kinda huge,
and aaron gave a thank-you speech.

then the guys went back into the room,
and i stayed outside because i was a girl. :/
the usual ‘birthday celebration for boys’

aaron’s dad told me to take the camera and give it to the guys.
‘tell them to take as many pictures as possible. tell them its aaron’s father who said it’

then we left at about 10.30..
the ride was rather quiet,
or maybe it was me?
loved the car-ride though. (=
thanks raz!

i had 2 dreams,
i woke up to the first,
and thought about some stuff,
and i couldn’t get back to sleep cos my heart was pumping so fast.
not cos of the dream,
but realising i’ve to wake up, and face those difficulties, again.

i didn’t go to church today,
and i’ll be going out for mothers’day dinner later with my relatives.

perhaps today would be a good day,
perhaps not.
i’ve been feeling this way nearly all week.
and it sucks.
it’s been such a weird week, problems and all.
’safety’ at its worst.