crossing hurdles

today as i was walking, i thought of my past.
something i really missed a lot.

it happened really long ago, 10 yrs ago.
hurdles.
i wasn’t born a runner.
slow, lazy, nothing motivated me.
it was pure torture, running in circles without a point.
(thus, hate running till now)

but i remember enjoying hurdles a ton.
jumping around bars, at least it had a point, no?

i don’t know how it happened,
but fear soon grew and i got afraid to jump.
i remember coach jeffrey, bong, and of course, dennis. (= and some other really handsome guy lol.

i practically begged my coach to let me skip all the jumping. i stopped and bumped into the hurdles, unable to jump past them.
it got really bad i could only manage half hurdles for practise.

i pulled out of the nationals in the end.
would have never made it, anyway.

it’s just something i really miss a lot.
unlike church or the piano, i never got a second chance at it. to get over my fear.

probably the fear of falling.

and netball too,
i miss that, tonnes.

but people just have to kill what i love.
or maybe i wasn’t strong enough to fight by myself.