Dear future husband

Don’t know who you are, don’t know where you live.
Hopefully you’re… born. jk. I hope you’re at least 24-ish.

Are you working already? Does your boss annoy you? What’s your favourite colour? I hope it’s blue. or black.

I come with a whole lot of fears, from being afraid of abandonment, to being lied to, to small things like height, cockroaches and really ugly things.

I’m quite anal about how things are supposed to be done, so.. that means you just have to be a lot cleaner and neater. Nobody likes slobs anyway, unless you’re a slob yourself. If so, consider our marriage over.

I love giving, but I’ve yet to learn the art of accepting gifts. It just feels awkward for me, and if you see me frowning, or even looking in another direction for a bit, it’s probably because I’m unsure of how to react. But maybe you’ll win me over with your gifts. Though you probably already know that I dislike chocolates, toys and shit like that.

I hate being emotional, it clouds judgements. And by judgements, I mean decisions. I’m mostly a black and white person. I get annoyed (mostly, at myself) when there are grey areas. I’m generally calm and stoned (you should know this by now), and I get frustrated when I can’t figure out how I’m feeling at that moment.

When I get excited about other men (I mean movie stars), it doesn’t mean I wish you were like them. George Clooney is known to be a player, Hugh Grant was caught with a prostitute…. so yea, I chose you (haha not like I could choose the above two.. but still!).

I built a heap of walls to prevent myself from getting hurt, but that just serves you right. What took you so long to come find me? But once you tear them all down, you’ll find that I can be quite a wreck at times. Yea, probably just like all the other girls, but I’m just more awesome, because.. it’s me.

Since you’ve been warned, don’t expect too much. You’re not supposed to be disappointed.

I always make jokes at the weirdest times because I cannot stand awkward situations, either that, or I zone out. I know, “wow this is really awkward.. hahaha” isn’t the best line to say, you’ve probably heard it a lot, but that’s just me.

There’s a whole lot more, but I’m guessing, if you’re already my husband, you’ve probably figured a whole lot without me telling you.

x
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