i date myself

yes i date myself and i’m proud of it!

what’s not to like?
1) you love yourself
2) you want to spend quality time with yourself, be in your own world, while being surrounded by the beauty of the outside world
3) you can do anything you want, any time you feel like it
4) there’s no one to tell you “why not we do x instead?”
5) or anyone to make decisions for you

so that’s exactly what i did.
on the 21st, after class, i packed my items into a small sling bag (okay a clutch), dolled up and went out.

i had no idea what i was gonna do, i know i needed to get some underwear, i thought it’d be cool if i walked to south wharf, but it wasn’t a to-do. all i knew was that i wanted time alone to myself, to walk, get lost, whatever.

so from my home, i walked to the city. sushi shop at my place was closed so i walked with an empty tummy. didn’t know what i wanted to eat either. then i saw another sushi shop in the city, and got myself 2 crispy chicken handrolls. god sent! (=

saw an outdoor performance and decided to stay and watch. it was entertaining i guess, and i left only when it ended.

walked to flinders station, and decided that i should go to south wharf.
1) i had nothing to do
2) south wharf would be decent exercise for me

took me a good 30mins or so to reach the place.. i checked my map, from my place to southwharf, it’s about 4.2km..

decided to shop, hooray! walked around, visited every shop that i thought was worth it (you know you can’t do that if you’re shopping with a friend).

i probably spent 2.5 hours walking around, sitting to drink, meddle with my purchases… and i left at 6pm as they were closing.

it was already quite dark by then. but it wasn’t raining, so i still felt happy. saw a busker drumming with tin cans, gave him 1/3 of all my coins. saw a group of men dancing, gave them all my coins, except a 2 dollar coin (just in case i needed it)

and that was how my date went.

i know it’s a lil weird dolling up when you’re just going out alone but hey my rationale is..
if you’re going on a date with a guy/girl, you’d wanna look good right? for them, and for yourself.
and if you’re dating yourself, shouldn’t you wanna look good for yourself too? and be happy? it’s different from wearing a simple t shirt and shorts and slippers and just going out to walk in the park…

can’t wait to go on my next self-adventure. (=

why i don’t date.

stop asking me, and read!

1) just not interested in you. so even if you ask me out i’ll say no.

2) if i don’t see myself being together with you, i won’t even bother, because i don’t want to waste my time.

3) i really hate awkward meetings where people go out 1-on-1 and the silence makes you want to stab the person

4) i generally do not go out with people (even friends) 1-on-1..

5) right now i’d rather meet my friends.. and spend time with them, rather than going out with just 1 person. of course, going out with you means i’ll have stories to tell all my friends.. lol

6) $$ comes first, the rest can come later..

why dating is a chore for me
1) I think to myself 24/7.. dont fall. dont fall. dont fall. ya i think falling in front of your date is fucking embarrassing, and the chances of it happening to me is so high…
solution: don’t wear heels. but flats dont really look nice w some dresses.. so.. don’t date at all.

2) when the guy cannot decide what to eat, it annoys me to no end. erm dude, it’s just food, stop asking me what i feel like eating, i’ll survive. if i had a craving i’ll let you know okay?
solution: don’t date at all

3) must order the right kinda food. order things that will make a mess = clothes will get dirty.. knowing me.. sigh. i am very clumsy!
solution: eat carrot sticks and pretend to love it. or don’t date at all

4) i have this WEIRD points system in my head..

5) i dont think im allowed to use vulgarities on a date… or talk too much.. if not the guy will think im retarded. if i keep quiet.. the guy will think im stupid. save you the trouble, we talk on msn ok?
solution: keep to polite conversations like “why is the sky blue?” or “how can we save the earth?”, or if you hate your date, use vulgarities excessively like “nabei this thing fucking nice leh?!” or don’t date at all.

6) THAT awkward moment when you finish a topic and there’s silence..
solution: play with your food if you guys are eating, look up in the sky and pretend it’s damn interesting, even if there’s no moon/stars/clouds all you see is a black piece of construction paper. or don’t date at all

7) gotta smile the whole time. erm okay. even if you want to roll your eyes so badly.
solution: roll your eyes and get away from the date. smile and pretend to enjoy yourself while you’re stabbing yourself inside. or don’t date at all.

8 ) the bill. if the date isn’t going well, you won’t want the guy to pay because you technically “owe” him then. and it might lead to date no. 2 which is the last thing you want. besides, you don’t wanna seem like a freeloader.. so how?!
solution: state from the start who’ll pay. or go on dutch. or don’t date at all.

9) that weird moment when you guys are going home and you don’t know how to say “oh okay good night!”

you know how girls are..
they might not want you to send them home, but they still want you to offer.. and when they say no you should insist a bit cos it shows sincereity.

scenario 1

girl: okay.. i’m going home now
guy: okay.. good night! bye! see you online
girl (in her head): NBPCB NEVER OFFER TO SEND ME HOME?!
girl: okay.. bye..

guy will be clueless when girl ignores him for the next few days, appears cold. girl’s friends (yes, all) will gossip about guy, and how men these days are. they will come up with reasons why girl shouldn’t date guy anymore, and how girl is better off without him

scenario 2

girl: okay.. i’m going home now
guy: let me send you home..
girl: no.. it’s okay.. i’ll go home myself..
guy: okay.. good night! bye! see you online
girl (in her head): NBPCB NEVER INSIST ON SENDING ME HOME?! so he didn’t want to send me home in the first place is it?!
girl: okay.. bye..

guy will be clueless, AGAIN. girl will be angry, AGAIN. girl’s friends will also know about this and they will come up with 100 reasons why guy is such a hypocrite.

scenario 3

girl: okay.. i’m going home now
guy: let me send you home..
girl: no.. it’s okay.. i’ll go home myself..
guy: no no.. let me send you home
girl: but i wanna go meet my friends..
guy: then let me send you to meet your friends, at least i know you’ll be safe
girl (in her head): fucking hell, he’s so annoying. no means no what?!
girl: don’t worry! i will be fine! -quickly hops into a taxi-

obviously, guy won’t know what’s happening. girl will feel that guy is being too controlling, and will try to ignore guy for a few days as he is too stuffy. girl’s friends will know about it, and they will laugh.

wow, guy kinda never wins eh? this is why guys complain about girls, and this is why girls find it hard to like a guy.

x
so people say “wa, damn bitchy, say no one wants you. people want then you don’t want. so fussy”

orh. ok lor. single then single lor
so troublesome right?! SEE THIS IS WHY I DON’T DATE.

awkward long long ago

years ago (oh god i sound like a dinosaur)

X: hey are you free on feb 14th..?
me: yea. why? are we celebrating lloyd’s birthday? (lloyd was a mutual friend.. of sorts)
X: no.. but do you want to go out with me?
me: is this a joke?

a few texts later… it went along the lines of
me: huh so you like me??
X: yes
me: oh. okay..
X: will you be my girlfriend?
me: call me and ask.

and that, padawans, is how i met my ex boyfriend.
we got together that night after i made him call me.
(erm yes i made him call me to ask “will you be my girlfriend” and he was whispering like an idiot it was funny and awkward. BUT HAHA SERIOUSLY SINCE YOUNG I’VE BEEN SO AMUSING RIGHT?)

2 days later, we broke up. lol.
fun times, indeed.
young love(=

happy valentines’ day everyone!
i’ve never really believed in it