disheartened


so uhm.
i just found out an ex-schoolmate got into a local uni.

and i’m feeling quite disheartened now..

1) same sec school.
i’m pretty sure I did much better than her…

2) same poly.
different course, I went into the course I wanted, she.. I don’t think that’s what she wanted but she got into engineering.

3) uni?
I’m overseas, she’s in a local uni.

there’s another friend, who was in my sec school, and he went to a normal jc (how many tanglinians can get into atas jc? atas like single digit jcs.. [vj, rj] actually should think how many of us could have gone to a jc too.. hmm.. another story for another day.)

and he’s now in a local uni too.

So, where did I screw up at?
at which point of my life did i not make the right decision?

Should I have gone to a JC instead? maybe then I could have def gone to a local uni.

But nope, here I am instead, in Melbourne. Still unsure of what I want to do in life.

Don’t get me wrong. I AM very thankful for my parent’s, supporting my decision, even though I wasn’t really sure it was what I wanted.

I was just like “eh. uni? just stay to do it privately like my sis?” and they told me go get my ass off to Melbourne.

I don’t really regret my choices so far, but this is one path I’m really thinking about..

Then again, it might just be pure envy, envying something I never had the chance to choose. Humans love choices, and I guess that’s where our downfall is. We’re never contented with what we have. And also I’m guessing people on the other side of the grass are thinking “crazy bitch, she gets to go overseas, into a fairly decent university, and she’d rather stay in Singapore and study in NUS/SMU/NTU?”

Ah well…..

Okay I guess I feel better after typing this.

3 responses to “disheartened

  1. sometimes i feel that its better to take a step back to see where the water flows. people who plan out their life’s masterplan, when they don’t achieve what they set to do, the disappointment is 10X worse. Take a step back, live with your choices and see where it’ll take you. might just surprise you =)

  2. True.. Guess for most of the part I could be 100% happy if I wanted to n stop comparing lives..

  3. yep. nothing to compare anyway, we’re all in different league. who says the richer are always better?

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