so it’s swotvac week.. essays are here to stay.
but that’s not my point now..
in the past few months i’ve actually felt myself grow..
no not taller, maybe fatter, but more of growing spiritually..
my walk w God..
ever since LTC, i didn’t know what to expect. everyone was saying to expect something, to have high hopes for it, to go with an open mind and heart.. and i did go with an open mind and heart. but i didn’t know what to expect.
to me it’s just “okay, if things come my way, i’ll take it”. a rather cool headed way maybe? no emotions to block my train of thought. maybe that’s why i was rather calm when i had my prophecy. at first i freaked out, thinking the guy will shame me (HAHA done too many stupid things..) but nah he didn’t.
and during ltc i decided to buy my own bible, start reading it and all.. that was cool.. (=
during cell retreat, i decided to cut down on my nasty habits.. meaning to tone down on the sexual innuendos and jokes.. so far, so good i think, i still have a long way to go.. to stop using the f word.. hey i’m only human…
also, i’ve come to realise, people can… stay if you let them.. -yes yes me and my ego- never ever saw my cell group as like, people i’d hang out with other than fridays 6-12mn.. not even when i go to church.. i always believe seeing people too many times a week will kill. i get annoyed easily!! but then i’ve started hanging out with them, going for dinner, even studying (omg), swimming/tennis… stuff like that!
not only that, i’m actually bonding with my cell 0.0 i’m not the most loving person on earth, neither am i tolerant or accepting, sometimes i’d rather keep to myself cos i find that christians are the most judgmental people on earth.. but hey my cell group loves me after knowing how batshit crazy i am… not that bad after all.
hmm. have always been afraid of praying. especially in public, in front of people, even among people. i speak wayyy too fast for my own group, mumble, am too self conscious.. but then i’ve learnt that through prayer, when we speak, it sometimes helps to confirm how we feel, sometimes when we motivate the person through prayer, we end up motivating ourselves too -mindf- and i’ve been prayed for many times, and each time God has really spoken to me, hitting a million nails into my head.. it’s been such a blessing, how i feel more confident and at ease with myself while praying.. or sometimes when i’m alone i’d just talk to God… not praying but like a buddy/friend.. and sometimes i’ll tell him “hey i didn’t pray for patience, stop testing me!” ahahah it feels nice praying for people, making them feel better… although i still feel more comfy praying in my room (= it’ll get better!
yeah i think that’s about it so far! okay i really gotta get my ass down to doin some work…