So I bought a minion in Phuket, and used it as a dive buddy..
Quite cute right? Looks damn retarded actually, because its arms and feet are made of felt, and it just looks like an egg. haah but that’s what I loved about it.
Anyway, I had to say goodbye to minion, because it was going back to France with Cyril. I asked Cyril what he wanted, and he told me he wanted the minion because it reminded him of me. How the fuck, you may ask? Similarities are uncanny.
Anyway, the minion got to travel, and here’s his life story. I typed it out for him. Here goes!
Hello friends of Char! So Cyril decided to take me home with him, and I was really excited. I didn’t want to leave Char, but she wasn’t going to take me exploring underwater, so I figured I’d go with whoever had more money to travel.
I flew 13 hours (in a backpack) to France. I didn’t freeze, even though it was winter. Guess minions are tough. Char would have died. Probably died in the airplane or something. The airplane was just ok. Cyril had 4 seats from KLIA-CDG, but not once did he let me out of the backpack. what a bitch. He just left me in the backpack while he lounged on the four seats.
From Paris, it was another 2+ hours to Lyon. Or something. I don’t know. I was safe in the backpack. security didn’t catch me! I didn’t get jetlag, because when you’re in darkness for over 20 hours, you kind of lose track of time, and sleep..
I was ecstatic when I got to Cyril’s home! And there, I got to see snow for the first time…
I got a bit wet, but it doesn’t matter. It was fun making snowballs and balancing them on my head. Cyril took care of me. I tried making a snow angel, but failed, because I’m way too round.. it looks like snow santa claus.. Anyway, I tried to make a snowman too. I can’t believe it. Char has never made a snowman in her entire life. what a noob…
Just slightly after the new year, Cyril took me to London to visit his cousin and his girlfriend! We sat on a bus for over 15 hours. As usual, I was comfortable and happy.. BUT I REALLY HATE THAT DAMN BACKPACK. I’m glad that Cyril also put me in his pocket sometimes.. It felt less lonely, and I made a few friends with the stirling pound..
We spent many days walking around London, going to museums and walking in the park.. We also visited the pubs.
If you think I look excited in all my photos, that’s because I am! Who else could have snuck on a plane ride without having to pay a cent?
Then we paid my friend, mr astronaut. He’s one of the famous friends I have.. Really cool guy, cool outfit, doesn’t speak much, sounds like darth vadar..Here I am chilling with him.. I also took pictures with the Royal Horses, but Char lost it so.. no photos. I was going to get the horses to let me ride the carriage, but Cyril said I would become a spoilt brat.. so he took me AND PUT ME IN THE DAMN BACKPACK WHAT THE FUCK MAN… COME ON CYRIL. JUST COS YOU’RE TOO FAT TO SIT IN A CARRIAGE DOESN’T MEAN I CAN’T ENJOY LIFE WITH MY RICH AWESOME FURRY PALS…
Oh well, the man has my interests at heart..Moving on, here are a few animals friends I made… suckers can’t roam about unlike me. Guess the backpack isn’t that bad after all…A shark of sorts, not that I haven’t seen a shark before… I’m safe..
I don’t understand why people say the sperm whale is huge, it’s just a few times bigger than me! Also, here I am, on my own two feet… what a rare sight. usually i’m lazy. i try to sit as much as I can, thus my round shape. But I think that’s what makes me cute.
Here I am feeding a squirrel in one of the parks in London! the squirrels are so fat, and greedy. I was afraid that they’d come eat me too… But Cyril looked after me..
I am one lucky minion. In a few months, I’ve travelled on land, air, and sea. I’ve visited four countries in two continents too! All for free. I can’t wait to go on more trips with Cyril! Or char, when I see her. Hopefully both, then three of us can be reunited. I can’t wait.
Yupp, that’s all from the minion. Btw, if anyone out there is reading this, and knows where I can find another minion that looks like that, pls let me know! it’s squishy, slightly flattened, its clothes, arms and legs are made of felt. it’s height is about the width of an iphone 4/5. and yes, the minion is obviously a knock off from some china factory. that’s what makes it so adorable…