fragile


I’ve had two friends’ moms pass away in a week. One of them passed away from the same illness my dad has.

And at times like this, I think, why am I chasing for answers about my future? Why am I worrying soooo much that my writing isn’t good enough, how I’m afraid I’ve no future, when what I really need to do is be by my dad’s side?

People think I’ve my priorities right. I feel that I can do a little better. My dad has started going through chemo, and it’s chipping his mental health away, bit by bit. I’m grateful that my boss allows me to work from home. I think I’ll be doing that more often. Asking my friend about what I need to look out for (our parents are/were going to the same doctor!), researching on how to get his immunity up, sending him to and from hospital, just being at home, letting him know that I’m there to fight this with him… it doesn’t feel like it’s enough though. Is my silent companionship enough? :/

Because I mixed my dates up, I’ve to miss part of dad’s chemo due to a mediation I’m attending. Praying God will show me His grace, close the case quickly and graciously, and I can hop to the hospital to pick them up and ask the doctor some questions.

Things on my plate right now
1) mediation
2) dad’s health
3) job uncertainty/future
4) the end of friendships

3 and 4 can wait when 2 needs to be taken care of. Priorities, priorities. If my life has to come to a halt because I need to take care of my dad, I’ll gladly do it.

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