I got baptised on Christmas Day!

Such excites! Took me 25 years to take the leap of faith (literally). This was the day after I cut my hair. Anyway, my whole family came to see it, plus, isaac bought me a white gold cross and pendant. Eek! Must have cost a bomb.

Anyway, video of baptism here:

​water was just a bit warm but wow the min I got out it was freezing cold! Also I was told that I’m probably the onl wine in history to have waved to the crowd lol but isn’t it weird if people just look at you and you don’t wave? They are looking AT you…

Pastor’s wife. One of the kindest ladies I know. Always has time to listen and offer a solution and her shoulder. Sometimes I wonder how my pastor and his wife do it. How can you have no temper? Or be so blameless. Of course they are only human and will definitely have their faults… but still! #Couplegoals

​receiving my certificate and a present haha! 
Oh, and here’s the testimony submitted. I wrote it as a speech of sorts as it was going to be pasted on the church bulletin board.

Knowing and Loving God

And not just on paper
I’m what you’ll call a third generation Christian. My grandfather, most of whom you know as Tai Senior is Christian, my parents are Christian, and so it was a no-brainer that I was born a Christian. I grew up in a sinking church (literally, and then it went through a facelift), and went for Sunday school, but never really listened to the sermons. 

While I knew who Jesus and God were, I never thought much about it. Jesus loved me so much that he died on the cross for my sins, and because of that I’m saved. I knew all about it. Did it affect my life? Not one bit. Did I bother understanding what it meant? What’s the point, I’m already saved. I’m a commitment phobe. I knew I’d get baptised one day, there was just no need to fix a date.

The thing about humans is we don’t treasure things that come for free. Think about the Birkin, the holy grail of bags. People pay five figures and wait for years to get one. When they finally get it, they polish it, keep it in a glass cabinet, and only use it during special occasions. There’s even a raincoat to protect the bag. Would you treasure a Birkin the same way if someone on the street gave it out for free? No. Because you don’t have to work hard and pay for it.

That was the same thing with my salvation. As a child, I knew who he was, but I never really appreciated it or understood the depths of it. Thankfully, salvation isn’t ours to earn, because our state of failure would be as epic as Greece needing a third bailout.

God has His way of bring us back to Him though. It happens differently for everyone. In my case, it took a non-Christian friend to change this. One night, said friend made a sobering comment, “I didn’t know you’re a Christian. I couldn’t tell!”

It was easy to see why. My actions were pretty much the opposite of what I claimed to believe in. God preached love; I told people in their faces that I didn’t like them. God said not to let unwholesome talk out of our mouths; every second sentence of mine had an expletive. (Clue: it’s the ‘f’ word, and it’s not ‘forgive’ or ‘forget’).

Something in me snapped. It’s probably the ‘middle child syndrome’, but I had to prove my friend wrong. I bought a bible, read a few chapters every night (and even made notes!), helped out in the prayer ministry, attended cell group bonding events (which I really disliked, because it involved interaction with people with whom I felt were too ‘godly’), and church.

Over the course of two years, I went from spending occasional Friday nights with a cell group, to four nights a week with like-minded Christians (who actually appreciated jokes and knew how to have fun). I cursed less, found myself sharing testimonies with non-Christian friends, and debated with both Muslims and Catholics about God. 

God also put two Christian friends in my life, and they were pretty much my pillars. I would rarely be seen without either flanking my sides. Daniel knew when to rebuke in love, Dezarae was always there to love and support me, because God really knew how few close female friends I had (or have).

The changes didn’t happen over night, but I saw and felt it. People always recommend altering thoughts, as they affect actions. But I went the other way round. I made physical changes (waking up for church, going on a leaders’ retreat) and they affected my thoughts. I still found my way back to God.

Baptism was a whole different ballgame. In 2015, my only friend in church, Sharleen, asked if I wanted to get baptised. It somehow struck a chord. It’s usually my dad or other church leaders asking, and I really disliked the pressure that came along with it. But since it came from her, I told her I’d think about it. We could get baptised together, it’ll be pretty cool. I waited for her to ask me again, but she didn’t. A few weeks, I found out that she had already started attending baptism class. Without me. Great. 

I really took the time to think about baptism. I concluded that it is pretty much like marriage. I never understood couples that lived together, had a dog, but never got married. One may have approached the topic of marriage a couple of times, with the other brushing it off with, “My signature on a silly piece of paper won’t change my feelings for you.” 

While I am a commitment phobe, I couldn’t wrap my head around the above scenario. They’re already living together. What was the other party waiting for? A meteor to land at their feet?

And then it struck me. That couple was Jesus and I. Jesus had always been there for me, and I knew He was never going to leave me. I felt secure, but it also meant that I took His presence for granted. What was holding me back was the fact I knew I would never be the ‘ideal Christian’ after getting baptised.

I was waiting till for a sign from God. Not a meteor, of course. For Him to tell me that it’s ok to fall short, because I’m human at the end of the day. Then I realised that Sharleen asking me was the sign, since God knew how adverse I was when it came to listening to voices of authority. I signed up for baptism class, and began to learn all about God and His love for me. I started reading The Daily Bread and praying every night. 

It’s true, baptism won’t change who I am. It’s an outward act, and while I always believe it’s what’s on the inside that counts, I owe it to God to show the world what He has done for me, and to tell them why I’m taking a step forward. It’s a proclamation that’ll keep me in check. Taking this physical step to get baptised not only shows obedience, but also reminds me that I’ve made a commitment to walking in His path. 

Throughout my 25 years of existence though, I know that God is, and will always be the same. He still preaches love; when I see someone I dislike, I try to think of their good points, and if I can’t, I tell God to help me love them even though they’re not lovable. As for the unwholesome talk, I’m still working on it. My ears now bleed when I hear teenagers spewing profanities. I’m either getting older, or walking closer with God. It could be both. 

It’ll probably be a long and arduous journey till the day I’m called to go home, but I know no fear because I know that Jesus is with me. There will be times where I’m lost and weak, especially when I face an existential mid-life crisis and question His presence, but I know that His love and strength will carry me through.

I became single because of a birthday card that arrived late

So much happened last year, or perhaps as adults it’s only natural?  You get tougher as do the battles. 

Wanted to talked about my failed relationship. Because reasons. I don’t know many people who either got dumped on Valentine’s Day or their birthdays, so essentially I’m the only one I know who has been through both.

Does it matter when the person did it? No, not really.

I’m still sad. Maybe cos I don’t know why it had to happen. Or maybe I do, and I’m in denial. 

We had our age gap and langauge barrier to deal with, neither of which was much to me, or rather, they didn’t affect me. Then came our growth, careers, goals. 

It’s funny cos we’ve never spoken about it. I always felt we could be the couple who would get through things as they come and align our goals, compromise.

But perhaps on his end, he didn’t see a future. And before the honeymoon period was over he threw in the towel. I saw a tiny potential crack, but was convinced it was something I could mend.

The crack: he accompanied me while I had 4 work meetings. Sat in on our convos. I felt bad for dragging him to this when it was meant to be our holiday. A while later, he brought up the fact that he felt stupid and couldn’t have conversations with others, how he was too old and was not good enough for me. Of course, I was heartbroken. I knew what he was referring to. I felt broken because I didn’t expect him to feel it.

It was something we had been through before so I told him that I was learning his language. I really thought things were going well. He asked when I would visit, showed me pics of his new apt, we planned our trips.

Then we fought. A friend once said that people don’t divorce because of a big issue, they divorce because someone didn’t do the dishes. And I agree. It’s not necessarily the main factor, but it sure is the catalyst.

It happened on my birthday. I asked him why he didn’t wish me, and he said he thought of calling me before work started in the morning. I got upset. And on hindsight, this was probably it. He had the day off, and didn’t make plans to visit me. That was fine. I wasn’t expecting him to spend money just for a day of us being together. Then I asked if I would be getting a birthday card and he kept quiet. Things went downhill, I started sobbing. Out of frustration because I’m not sure why he couldn’t understand the reason I was upset. My friends all sent me long ass well wishes, as did the ex boyfriend. But I got nothing from him. And all I wanted was a card. 

I went to work in the morning, still upset. He wished me via text, and apologised. I got angrier, telling him that sorry just wouldn’t cut it, and I was expecting action, not words. I went home in the afternoon, feeling like utter crap. That night he messaged and asked how my day was. 

I lost it. Typed a long message explaining why, wasn’t sure if it even occurred to him that as much as we are in different countries, my request for a birthday card wasn’t unreasonable.

He replied. Saying he didn’t think he could give me what I wanted, and I should be with another guy instead.

I called him, shaking.

“Are you breaking up with me?”

“Yes, I think so.”

“Why… are you doing this?”

“I’m sorry I don’t think I can do it anymore.”

The next hour was spent crying (me), trying to ask him why it had to be this way. Asked if he met someone else (he said no), or if I was being too demanding (no, too). Long story short, he agreed to work on the relationship with me. 

But there was always this nagging feeling. From that day onwards, when he didn’t read my messages I feared he was rethinking the relationship. When he did reply, I dared not open his message, because of that same fear. And when I told him about it, I got no assurance. I was jittery. I could barely eat. I would work myself until I fell so tired and slept. I cried every night. He would take hours to reply, he wouldn’t even call me. But when I did, he answered. We even planned our trips (Phuket, Phuket, singapore, Hong Kong) I wasn’t sure what was going on. It felt like I had already lost him.

I still remember the night it happened. In fact, the still replays in my head and haunts me till this day.

On my way home one night, I cried my eyes out. Barely any replies, he refused to answer his phone saying there was no wifi, and it occurred to me he no longer complimented me when I sent him photos.

I came home to find a bag on my door. He had passed my sister stuff when she went to Phuket. He went to her hotel. It was 2 tops. I burst into tears.

Exhaustion had gotten the better of me. Why would he buy me clothes to try make it up to me, but avoid my messages and calls? I fell asleep at about 10 that night. Woke up nearly 2 hours later. Still no message from him. Forced my eyes shut but started getting anxious. Checked my phone, he just sent a text. Called but he didn’t reply. Called a few times on both his numbers. Nothing. My insides started shaking. My whole body was soon shaking and I could barely hold my phone. If this is what it’s like to feel like you’re alone, that night was truly it.

It was the longest 30mins of my life. Messagedbhim trying to sound cheerful, telling him injist wanted a quick chat. I knew it was over.

He finally called me back. I was already tearing by then, mostly caused by the anxiousness.

“I received your present. Thank you.”

“Do you like it?”

“Yes, thank you. How have you been”?”

“No good, can’t sleep well for the whole week. And I think you know wh-”

“I just wanted to call you to tell you that you don’t have to be with me anymore. It’s ok.”

“I’m sorry. I really am.”

He didn’t want to be in a relationship. Not with me anyway. Maybe he didn’t like what he saw when we were together. Or maybe I did things that didn’t sit well with him. I don’t know. And I never will. And truth be told I don’t think I’ll understand any reason he gives. Because it’ll just sound like excuses.

That was a Thursday night if I remember correctly. Just slightly a week after he first broke up with me. 

I deleted line app, and my Facebook. I couldn’t deal with anything. I messaged my friends (it was past 1 that night), and miraculously, one was awake. Shenjust happened to need to use the bathroom and saw my text and called. I cried to her, she listened without judgement and prayed for me.

I had bought tickets to Phuket for the coming Tuesday, intending to fly over and surprise him. I never boarded the plane, though it scared me a lot to think that I could have possibly just taken my passport on the day itself and fly anyway. 

The thing that held me back was pride. I didn’t think I could handle the journey there, to be rejected a third time, and have to endure the flight back. 

The day after it ended, I went to work as per normal. I don’t know how I did it. Came home, saw a card on the table for me. It was from him.

A birthday card with balloons. He did send one after all. He sent it two days before my birthday. Until today, I still have no idea why he didn’t tell me about the card. Things would have turned out differently wouldn’t it? Or maybe I’m just trying to delay the inevitable.

We never fought. Maybe it was the distance but it was also probably how we knew we couldn’t take each other for granted. We had our differences but we would bother asking what the other party felt and why they felt that way. We would also agree to disagree. 

Could I have done anything to prevent this from happening? No, and I’m not sure if this is good or bad. It’s scary because as we got to know each other better I started seeing a future with him. And it’s scarier because I thought he did too. But I guess I was wrong, and so very blinded.

He messaged my sister saying he was worried about me. And that was the last I had heard from him. 

Weeks later my inctructor emailed me asking how I was.

“Are you asking because you don’t see me on Facebook?”

“No, I’m asking because he told me about it and I knew you would be sad. He didn’t say anything, except that “these things happen.”.

Those three words would soon become a trigger phrase for me. It would stir up emotions, like a diver stepping on sand underwater. For those few moments my vision is cloudy and I’m taken back to that awful night where I wake up and start shaking uncontrollably. I relive those few minutes like it’s a fresh wound and then, I remind myself that I need to move on.

It has been less than two months. I still think about him. I miss him. And as much as I hate to admit it, I still wish he wants me back. I sometimes let my mind wander and play out the what-if scenarios. 

One night, I was walking home and was just about to reach my gate when I saw a balloon floating into the night sky. Froze in my tracks for a bit, only to realise it was my neighbour’s children.

I do know that this is for the better given our circumstances. But I just never saw it ending so quickly. If anything, if it had to end, I always envisioned it being after we have exhausted our options and had no choice but to accept defeat. I foolishly thought that I would be the one having to give up on us. Oh how the tables have turned.

Sometimes I imagine going to his house and seeing him with a new Thai girl. It absolutely crushes me. Sometimes I want to see if he has uploaded anything onto Facebook, but I no longer have an account (thankfully) and I don’t want to overthink each post of his. Or worse, wonder if he has blocked me from seeing the posts. Those fears are as irrational as they are real. Sometimes I imagine writing him an email, just to say that I was thinking about him. But I don’t. Because it isn’t healthy especially if I am not ready for the answers. Because the last thing I would like to know is that he has moved on. Without me.

As cass said, I need to stop breathing life into my memories of him. Which is ironic because this itself is inflating a piece of history. But I need to get it off my chest. I need closure , and while I’m not sure if this is it, it can’t possibly hurt more. 

I know he really did like me while it lasted. I never once doubted his sincerity and effort, and even though two people have told me that he probably cheated on me, I would like to think he deserves more credit than that. You think you know someone, until they decide that they no longer want you in their lives one fine morning.

Is this what they call a may – December relationship? It seems quite fitting, literally, I suppose.

This is it then I guess. What could have been my favourite narrative of the year turned out to be a nightmare I wouldn’t wish unto anyone else.

I’ll get better. I want to. (Except on some days where I don’t, and would very much rather replay painful and heart wrenching memories) But I know I’ll be fine at the end of the day.

As he said, and as I try my hardest to convince myself and believe; it is for my own good.

The heart just needs to catch up with the brain.

Fishing at Chia Soon Kelong

This christmas, I spent it… fishing!! Went to a kelong hurrr.

Information  here.

When our usual kelong (which you can read here and here) closed down, mostly because it collapsed, we had to find a new one.. Found one called Chia Soon. It’s in Msia waters, but instead of us driving to Malaysia, we just take a boat from Sg.

Steps:
1) Make a booking with the kelong
2) Go to Changi Ferry Terminal (beside changi village hawker centre)
3) Go downstairs (there are 2 paths, to Pengarang and Pulau Ubin). Go to the Pengarang queue
4) Boatman will pick you up. 30-60min boat ride to Msia where you gotta get off and stamp your passport (you can leave your bags / barang barang in the boat)
5) Get back on the boat and take a 15-30min ride to the kelong
TIP: ASK FOR THE FASTBOAT. It has aircon, and is more comfortable. Our trip to the kelong took less than an hour. The trip back was 2x as long, it was super stuffy, and we felt ill from breathing in the petrol fumes.

Okay now that I’m done w it.. here are the highlights of our trip! Our boat was scheduled to leave at 12pm, but you can always arrive early and leave early!

img_0679Waiting for the rest to arrive. Ignore the ladies behind.

img_0682in the fastboat!

One hour later~ we’ve arrived! Was quite stunned, I guess I’ve forgotten how kelongs are like, very backwards. Sat in our ‘room’ and sulked until Cass told me to snap out of it hur.

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This is how the rooms are like: (photo from google)
Basically, open concept. They’ve bedsheets for curtains. You have 5 mattresses (about 2inch thick. super thin tilam!) Pillows provided.. no blankets though.

No electricity from 8am-8pm. May be a lil hot, so bring your fans haha (as in, those you use to fan satay). I don’t recall seeing power plugs… Not that you need it anyway. No reception! This kelong is quite small, very cramped! Beds not that comfy too. Cleanliness of beds is left w a big question mark. But no cockroaches/ants…!

Just gotta suck it up, tell yourself that you’re only there for 1 or 2 nights. You’ll get used to it when all your friends cheer you up. Plus, can shower together, bathroom convos! We brushed our teeth together too, that was kinda cute.

Fishing time…!

img_0686More varieties of fish here, but we caught way less. Between the 10 of us we probably caught less than 40… In the other kelongs we’d probably catch 40 each…

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Not much space for fishing too, and way too many stilts, so when the current comes in, your weights/lines may get stuck. Sian max.img_0693From here you can see tecks in every photo.. uhh.

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Kelong uncle: You look familiar, have you been here before
Tecks: (whose name is teck hwa, or de2 hua2 in chinese) nope.. my first time
Kelong uncle: oh but your face is very familiar
Tecks: some people say I look like liu2 de2 hua2 (andy lau) so maybe that’s why?

Yahhh tecks I bet you so look like andy lau. fyi this is how andy lau looks like:

Wtf tell me look alike anot. #lifegoals

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It rained quite a bit throughout, but no matter! Just go indoors and play card games lor. Which we did. we brought our own games, mostly because we didn’t expect to catch fish. we just went for fun and lols. getting any fish was a bonus.

This kelong doesn’t have a snack shop too… so bring your own. big mistake of mine. but then again it helped me to stop snacking… only cos there weren’t any snacks -sniff- Also, no lunch on day 1! Only dinner and supper!

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Overcast liao! I don’t remember doing much, got bored and took a nap hahahah. Woke up for dinner…
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img_0731Dad tying the hooks in our ‘home’ haha. I use that word loosely. Right in front of our ‘room’ are three wooden beams, and then the dining room. Basically people can see you sleeping but srsly nobody rly cares. That’s what I like. can do whatever you want. I left my phone in my bag (only took it out for photos) and didn’t have to worry about anyone stealing my stuff)

img_0732Five mattresses stacked on top of one another, still thinner than my mattress at home haha! The ‘flooring’ is very old school! those people paste in their homes to pretend it’s wooden.. actually it’s just some ‘wrap’ I slept on the floor in the aftn cos it’s cooler..

img_0734From here you can see our living conditions..

img_0733 Tecks bought 48 cans of drinks! insane lah. 10 people. Each must drink about 4-5 cans. The uncles gave us some ice.. so we had chilled cans~

img_0736Rain liao! but before seeking shelter… cast your lines!

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Dinner time! dad was sleeping ahha. At first i thought we only had noodles.. was a bit sad.. but oh man, the dishes just kept coming!!! fried prawns (2 plates), super yummy. crispiest prawns ever, but still fresh and juicy. 1 whole fish, 1 plate of gong gong, 1 steam boat with vegs, mixed balls and fish, crabs… SHIOKKKK.img_0742

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Honestly i’ll go back to the kelong just to hang out w my friends + enjoy the food! it’s a great getaway, forces you to bond w your friends cos you’ve no phones. heh. Oh, toilet is clean too. it’s basically a hole in the floor lah. so not good for elderly people, or those who can’t squat… it doesn’t smell bad too. smells of mothballs. i remember the other kelong smelt a little (just a little) but it was enough to make me sian when i had to pee.

img_0749Mum’s special fish!

img_0751Looks so happy! We threw all our fish back, had no intention of bringing them back to sg. This kelong doesn’t provide ice also, so there’s no way you can bring your fish back…

img_0789Caught my first fish!!

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Caught 4 fish. Really not the best catch of the day, but I had pretty cool fish! 2 catfish, and two unidentified fishes with a big mole on its back haha.

Oh, supper was superb too. We had stingray, which was out of this world…. sausages, and chicken wings! I bbq-ed all the chicken wings haha. The only thing missing.. tong3 shui2! But it’s ok.. we had canned drinks…

Everyone slept pretty early! After supper actually. Brush teeth and wash face (er I didn’t shower lol) and wiped down with wet wipes!! By midnight it was just qi, tecks and I left fishing. Then we cast our lines and sat and chilled and listened to old songs.. Then I gave up. no more fish! So went to sleep at 2+am. You may wanna bring sleeping masks.. cos the lights are left on! It gets windy at night, so use your towel to cover urself haha.

Next morning, woke up at about 730am naturally. mostly because people kept walking around. And when people walk around, you can feel it! cos the planks are all connected.

The kelong does some fish farming too I guess. And they have stray dogs, of which I had my favourite hehe. Didn’t get near them, there’s a barrier between the kelong and the farm.
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loooook so cutee!!! very beautiful. short coat. and its ears!!! folded ears!

We’re looking at another kelong, hopefully we can go for another one weekend! If it’s not too far / inaccessible.

Cutting my hair for a cause

 

Came across a ‘blog’ (I won’t dare to call it a site) where people donate their hair to make wig for cancer patients. I had hair, I wanted to help, so hey, grew my hair out. Easy, right?

Then I saw that by 1 jan they won’t accept any more hair donations. So I quickly dropped them an email (and seriously I should have known based on how they reply).

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1) You have my name but choose to reply with just a ‘hi’. So I’ve already marked them as unprofessional. (Not rude, not yet anyway).

2) You’re stopping hair collection from 1 Jan, but from 4 Dec – 1 Jan, there’s no hair collection either. So… have I missed the boat completely? If you stop accepting donations from 1 Jan, surely the last collection date would be 31 Dec (i’m ignoring pub hols/festivities, and focusing on the date itself).

Never mind.. I try to reply nicely because I don’t really get the person’s reply. screen-shot-2016-12-30-at-4-50-53-pm screen-shot-2016-12-30-at-4-51-08-pm

So… okay, no dates but probably next Jan. fine. that’s just a few weeks away, and I should cut my hair before then! But this person doesn’t offer other info! No dates for collection at point A, but neither does he/she offer info on other collection date/points. I mean, I’m assuming people aren’t unreasonable, but if they’re free during X date etc, they’ll definitely make their way to pass their hair to you right?

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And then comes a long ass reply…

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Right. So many issues with this. Mostly because it is downright inefficient. Why not just do a collection once a month at one station at a specific timing? Eg, if it’s always at X train station, people will make their own plans around it what. Now you’re all.. oh u gotta email then we see how blablabla. And also, I get it. you’re volunteers, but don’t use it as an excuse as to why your replies are shitty, and I can’t get specific answers. All I want to know is where the next collection will be, and I’ll cut my hair by then and give it to you. It’s already 20 Dec, and you won’t be arranging collections from 1 Jan, so when is the last collection of yours?

Anyway, All these aside, I tell them that i’ll cut my hair on 24 Dec. So that they can prepare and mark their dates down and let me give them the hair.

My hair cut is a total failure but it could be because I dislike having short hair. Makes me feel like a man, doesn’t suit me etc. Nvm. For a good cause.

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I drop them and email with info they need on 24 dec itself, aft cutting my hair, and tell them I’ll contribute to the making of the wig (on the blog they state it costs up to $200 to make a wig).

I get a reply the same day (to be fair they are prompt with replies, but i don’t get why they cant’ address me by name??)

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ARE YOU KIDDING ME? TAKES UP TO MOTHS? ok seriously this is beyond ridiculous.

I cut my hair before 31 dec so i can make it in time for your collection that ends 1 Jan, but now you tell me it’ll take a few months? Ok, say, March. MY HAIR COULD HAVE BEEN KEPT FOR THREE MONTHS MORE. This means the wig would have longer hair, the patient can have more choices for hair lengths. why the heck did i cut my hair only for you to say it’ll take months? Again, BAD PLANNING.

So I reply them… seriously irritated with their replies that don’t make sense. their process is so flawed. you guys are volunteers, I GET IT. I think i’ve been super patient the entire month.  but don’t use the fact that you’re volunteers as an excuse? If you’re time strapped, find a way to have a single collection at a single train station during a stipulated time period. you’re offering 4-5 stations, but can’t tell anyone when the collection will be. how is that informative at all?

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I don’t think I’ve been unreasonable, been asking questions that just require answers (and not even long-assed ones, just need to know date, time etc. i’ll be there.) And of course.. the person who has been replying all this while.. can’t give answers, and decides to use the volunteering thing as a reason as to why their process doesn’t work well.

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1) at least they let me know before hand. NO LEH. YOU LET ME KNOW AFTER I CUT MY HAIR. telling me before hand is on 3rd dec when i email you, or better yet, state it on your site. you’ve a site, what are you using it for then?

2) does it matter if i’m a student or adult? I still manage my time. I know what i’m doing next week. and two weeks from now. apparently time management skills is what the group lacks entirely.

3) once again, telling me you’re a volunteer. am i not one too, then? you think i cut my hair just for fun and decide to burden you with the collection?

4) you state the name of the wig maker, there are no numbers, no addresses (actually there are 2 numbers and addresses when i google), so which is it? You do realise there’s a reason why I’m asking you right? And even if i’m blind, would it kill to state the wig maker’s name in your email? Once again, best at siam-ing questions.

I eventually gave up replying, because everything is in their court. They won’t even tell you if your hair can be collected, and if so, when. So my hair is just sitting at home, looking disgusting in a plastic bag, because a group of volunteers can’t get its act together. And yes, it pisses me off. Their replies go in circles, they don’t get any questions answered.

Ok lor, what can I do? DIY. I’ve since called the wig maker and told the man I’ll go down on my own with the hair, and money to make the wig. I’ve also contacted the cancer society asking if there’ll be a patient who can get benefit from the wig. If all else fails, I’ll just throw the hair away. No biggie. Just really hate inefficiency.

 

Making tiramisu

Cass and I have a long-standing tradition of making something every year. Err. It includes making gummies, rainbow cupcakes, cheesecake and tutu kueh.

We don’t really give up. We’re happy with failing. -shrugs-

Anyway, we decided to do a no-bake thing this year, and thus, tiramisu. How difficult can be be right?

Got the recipe from here and realised hey, we have most of the ingredients! just needed the cream, biscuits and mascarpone cheese.

Recipe
120ml strong coffee. We used instant powder! 3 tablespoon heaps.
60ml brandy/cognac. We used VSOP.
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3  egg yolks
50g sugar
225g mascarpone cheese
175ml heavy cream. We just made sure it had at least 35% fat.
Ladyfingers (the biscuit, not the veggie.
Chocolate powder

It’s quite easy actually, just follow the recipe!

1) Add coffee with 2tbsp of brandy, and 1 tbsp of sugar. set aside.

2) Beat the egg yolks, brandy, sugar and cheese… this was the part we screwed up lol.

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img_0641Doing it over a water bath. what you see here is batch two. batch one was a total failure because we didn’t know how hot the bath should be, if the yolks should be ‘cooked’ etc etc. it was a failure! the cheese started separating from the yolk oh my goodness. wanted to kill ourselves. but still, we pressed on! Got it right the second time thankfully! The mixture will increase in volume, and turn into this thick and slightly yellow goo.

3) Whip cream until stiff peaks form.

img_0643FYI you can over beat cream (and egg white). Cos it starts to curdle. lumps start to form. Yep, we failed at this part too! When you see it looking fluffy that’s enough.

4) Fold hald the cream mixture into the egg yolk mixture. Cass did this!
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In the mean time, I dipped the biscuits into the coffee and lined our tin.

img_0646Do whatever you want man seriously. Since this doesn’t require baking, you can use any tray, any depth… soak the biscuits for longer… it’s rly up to you.

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Partnership right there. I’d line the first layer with biscuits, cass will pour a thin layer of mixture, then i’ll dust cocoa, then line the biscuits again, and cass will pour another layer…img_0650

 

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Put it in the fridge and next day.. yum yum! Everyone liked it and both of us were like.. omg first time ever. We’re looking for more things to do hur, just need willing bellies!

and then some…

Lots of random bits here and there! First up, weenie’s wedding. our primary school friend who MIA-ed when he got a gf.. img_0161

img_0165Not sure what happened there but hey I quite like long dresses, although they’re super hot. I think it’s cos it sometimes masks my height hahaha.

img_0258 Here’s my dad making a thank you card for parkway cancer centre. so cute. he cut the pictures out and glued them onto the card, and even practised his penmenship..

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img_0266Soldier on, cancer warriors.

Then came the long awaited meet up with my giant. Gyoza and garlic rice for dinner, and 1/2 a cookie for dessert.
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Josh: Where’s the present? I expected a present. That’s the only reason why I met you.
Me: I AM YOUR PRESENT!

img_0279OUR INFAMOUS HOVERHAND HHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

And then I stayed over at mandarin oriental for the night! Got my bro to stay over with me because I couldn’t bear the thought of sleeping alone in a hotel room T_T. Sigh.

img_0526Marina bay view room. Not too bad at all! 21st floor too! Highest floor in the hotel, reserved for club members…

img_0528The reason why isaac agreed to stay over: tub. tub. tub.

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img_0532Warm welcome from the hotel! Lots of sweets… Didn’t finish it.

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img_0535Guys I’m famous liao. hahahaha. It’s actually a small win for me when people get my surname right.

Anyway, went to the gym with cass. quite enjoy our routine! Plus, my aim: to look good naked. so there. -focuses on goal-

img_0537Came back to the hotel room and saw this. Salmon with caviar, foie gras with strawberry compote, and pumpkin. yum yum.

We went to chic a boo for dinner, and came back to see snacks! OM NOM NOM. pop corn, corn chips and potato chips. the staff must have worked really hard on this lah! Cos all the chips are the alpha males in the pack. no random bits that are chipped off or anything. Plus, the condiments… cheese, sour cream, guacamole, salsa!img_0543

A pity I fell asleep real early. Woke up next morning. Corn chips were gone. so were the guac and salsa.

Me: You ate it ah?
Bro: ya, while showering
Me: wtf? So u shower and open the door and eat, close door and shower…
Bro: no lah, i filled the hot tub, then sit in there and eat lor…

Guess some people really know how to enjoy life… I saw the sour cream and cheese, and decided to eat the popcorn with it. Mistake? Or not. I pooped 5x that day man. BUT IT WAS GOOOD. seriously, popcorn with melted cheese, so underrated. and now, popcorn with sour cream too! BUT EVERYTHING TASTES GOOD WITH SOUR CREAM!!!

img_0553Woke up for breakfast.. Yup.. i’m a fan. HAHAH GEDDIT GEDDIT. Cos mandarin oriental’s hotel layout is fan-shaped, and so is its logo..

img_0557Bro keeping it classy with a glass of milk.. lmao.

Was still early, check out is 12pm, which is quite generous of mandarin oriental! Went back to the hotel room to chill.. and bro decided to watch cartoons haha! So that we did!img_0558Set the alarm for 12pm hehe and we fell asleep after the cartoon ended.

Also, Maxwell has this tauhuay store. AFUCKINMAZING. I’ve been going there at least twice a week. Tauhuay costs $1.50. they give you 1/2 a tub. (you can’t see the depth in this pic). Sugar syrup given is just nice. There’s also one with black sugar but it’s too sweet for my liking.img_0561Anyway, what happened was.. I went to buy $2 of tauhuay.

Me: Can i have $2 tauhuay please?
Aunty: You mean the black sugar one?
Me: No, the normal one… just more.. -whispers- I really love your tauhuay

getting my (art) jam on

all hail painter char! woohoo!

no, seriously, i’m someone with no artistic talent. my handwriting is shit, i don’t know how to mix colours, blah. i am good at fixing stuff though!

ok anyway! Went to get out paint on at mandarin gallery. at arteastiq. Costs $48 for 3 hours. gets you a 50×50 canvas, unlimited paint, a set of paintbrushes you can keep, apron (you can take this home too).

Fretted for a bit cos I didn’t know what I wanted to paint. I know I wanted something to do with water… something like blancpain’s ad:

But yknow, I can’t paint for nuts… OR MAYBE I CAN? Anyway, decided not to take the risk… and then I wanted to paint this:

SO PRETTYYY. but then the girl said it’ll probably be difficult to paint. which is true cos i’ve never painted before lehhh. hahaha! flipped through the booklets and found this instead!

img_0390It’s by leonid afremov, and this was one of the easiest paintings he did! his paintings are damn awesome lah, dots of bright colours and shit. anyway, i didn’t want to butcher his work… so i picked something i had a higher chance of completing.

img_0385First up: drawing the boat! LMAO took me 1 min to draw it.

img_0386proud of my boat. cos yknow… must celebrate every achievement just before i ruin things..

img_0391Gradient making.. kinda fail. and at first they didn’t have white paint (yah totally blaming the lack of white paint instead of my skills ahhaa)

img_0392Added a lil green.. then realised it didn’t work… like.. nice blue sky that’s threatening to rain.. and wild moss appears. totes unbelievable.

img_0393All covered up!!!

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img_0421by this time the girl found white paint and hooray, the master artist is back in action!!

img_0438hello boaty! Didn’t expect myself to colour the boat in this manner. actually i was panicking and then i used my tissues to wipe the paint off but what dyou know, a nice gradient formed. maybe that’s how it came about in the first place. artist spills paint, panics, then cleans it up hastily, but woohoo! boo-ti-foollll…. and to the top left you see what looks like diarrhoea? YEA I RUINED IT. i tried to add the colouful drops of paint and then it was butt ugly so i had to cover it up. T_T

img_0440covered everything and added my name. haih!

img_0444Anyway, long story short, i finished my painting way earlier than expected, and so I decided to give my blotches another go. I’m not sure if it was the right thing to do…

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img_0468Oh well. paint finish liao. nothing can be done. I didn’t wanna go paint a fourth layer hahahaha.

And meanwhile… the fellow painters who all have hidden artistic talents….

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img_0396Mad skills. from left to right. donald trump (haha i kid it’s actually salmon sushi), cherry blossom tree, and a sky of moss.

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img_0404SUSHI TRUMP! Just gotta add two shoyu drops for the eyes! cannot unsee. i kept making fun of j’s painting and i felt slightly bad but at the same time.. i’m childish like that. GOOD ON YOU J FOR NOT PUNCHING ME!

img_0428such perfect circles. srsly how did she do it.

img_0431even kx was thinking it too. but look how her tree has grown~~

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img_0452panda was the last to finish her work. haha whoever knew painting moss needed time right. but if you think that’s weird, here’s the picture panda chose to copy…

img_0481dafuq. totes don’t see any resemblance there panda. probably colour blind. which reminds me, sj wasn’t with us, and i wondered what he would have painted..

img_0483Three hours later… here are our works! Not bad I think. haha. They look gorgeous from afar, but far from gorgeous!

As they say in chinese… 远看朱丽叶,近看猪八戒

Wise words indeed… Anyway, went home to hang my painting! Got the bro to help staple some rope onto it hahha.

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Welcome home! ((= Painting looks lonely there, may transfer this to above my TV, and the painting of my family to this wall (But first, to secure that piece with.. something sturdy, otherwise it’ll fall on my neck when I’m asleep wtf.